Drunk on the idea of love...

“And in the end, we were just humans...drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

When we live in a society that tells us the love is childish, that love is old fashioned its hard to hold onto the idea of how love could possibility heal us. But if we don’t have love to heal us? What then heals us? We are bent on this idea that to care for someone is odd, the world is so individual that caring and putting things on hold for someone or going to the end of the world is silly. Sometimes it has gotten to the point where even the idea of trying something is too terrifying so instead things are broken before they are even fully formed.

“I think we should keep it causal, I think we are getting too serious, I like you too much so we should break things off before they get more complicated.”

I am fully aware of the hook up culture, it has benefited me in many ways, but it has also demoralised and hurt me more times than I can count.

If casual is what we are, if we are not exclusive that does not mean that respect and care must be lost. If it's casual it still needs to be equal. As someone who enjoys pleasure way too much I love getting involved with people, I love to love people physically and emotionally. I’ve been told I am too much, too wild, too independent, too caring. Now I look at the qualities that I assumed were a good part of my personality with hate, willing them to go away, for all my emotions to go away. But oh have I tried to get rid of emotions, telling myself that one night stands aren’t for complications or feelings.

Yet even one night flings can still be absolutely wonderful, a bubble of pleasure and connection away from the stresses of reality.

I am utterly and always will be drunk on the idea that love can heal our brokenness, but not until we want to heal it ourselves, not until we love ourselves exactly the way we are. Broken, fragile, hurt and afraid. If fear is the biggest thing holding us away from love then we need to look at the fear not as a wall but rather as a bridge, a path to love that is a little more precarious than a straight road.

Oh but if you are willing to walk that bridge, to jump others walls the stuff of magic and fairytales is on the other side. Have faith in each other, we are all a little shy and a little awkward in this fast paced world of ours.

Cynicism is not natural, we aren’t creatures of negativity. We may hide or create a protective barrier around our hearts because of past pains but we are meant to feel, we are meant to get hurt, we are meant to cry and scream and get revenge. Love is way to powerful to keep bottled up, it wants out.

So what if I am drunk on the idea of love, what if I believe that love truly can heal our brokenness. Does that make me crazy?